How to prepare for a meeting with the SENCO

A SENCO meeting is easier to use when you know which questions need an answer. You do not need a polished case or a large folder. You need a short account of what is happening, your child’s view where they want it shared, and enough detail for the meeting to end with actions rather than a general promise to keep an eye on things.

Decide what this meeting needs to do

Write down everything that is worrying you, then mark the two or three matters that need attention first. They might be the parts of the day causing the greatest difficulty, support that was agreed but has not started, or a pattern that has changed.

Turn each concern into a question the meeting can answer:

• What does school notice during lunchtime, and who could observe it more closely?
• Which instructions are difficult for my child to follow, and could we test a written version?
• What support is already recorded, and when will its effect be reviewed?

Keep the longer list. It can be returned to later. A focused agenda does not make the other concerns less important; it makes it possible to reach a clear next step on these ones.

Bring examples from more than one kind of day

Choose two or three recent examples. For each one, note the date, what the situation involved, what you saw or were told, what your child could not access or complete, and what happened afterwards. Include where the information came from.

An easier day is useful too. If homework was manageable when the task was written in short steps, or lunch went better when a particular room was available, that gives the school something practical to compare.

Separate observation from explanation. “On Tuesday, she spent lunch in the toilet and did not eat” is an observation. “The dining hall overwhelmed her” may be a possibility to explore. Keeping those two things separate leaves room for your child and the school to add information.

Include your child without making them carry the meeting

Ask what your child wants the adults to know. They might speak at the meeting, write a few sentences, choose from prepared questions, draw a map of the difficult part of the day or ask you to share something for them. They may also want some information kept private.

Do not promise confidentiality you cannot keep if a child describes a safety concern. Otherwise, agree what can be shared and use their own words accurately. A child who does not want to attend can still have a view included.

The SEND Code for England says an assessment of SEN should draw on the pupil’s views and the views and experience of their parents, alongside school information and relevant professional advice ^[1]. The child’s account is part of the evidence, not an optional addition.

Ask about the shape of the meeting beforehand

A short email can prevent avoidable surprises. Ask:

• who will attend and what each person’s role is;
• how long has been set aside;
• whether the school will make a record;
• whether your child will attend or contribute another way;
• whether anybody needs the information in a different format;
• whether the school would like your short summary in advance.

Compare the different accounts

School and home may see different things. Start by finding out exactly what each account describes.

Instead of asking whether your child is “fine”, ask about a particular lesson, transition, unstructured period or task. Ask how much prompting they need, whether work is completed, whether they eat and use the toilet, and what happens when plans change. Then share the corresponding home information.

Different accounts do not prove that anybody is mistaken. They identify what the group still needs to understand. If the reason is unclear, agree what staff and family will observe before the review.

Turn an idea into a testable plan

In England, SEN support uses a continuing assess, plan, do, review cycle. The SEND Code says plans should identify the support, the expected effect and a clear review date, in consultation with the parent and pupil ^[1].

For each agreed action, ask:

• What exactly will happen?
• In which lessons or situations?
• Who will make sure it happens?
• How will my child know about it?
• What change are we looking for?
• What information will we use at the review?
• When is the review?

“Offer a movement break” is still open to interpretation. “For four weeks, the teaching assistant will offer a five-minute movement break before independent writing, and staff will note whether A starts the task afterwards” is easier to carry out and review.

Close the meeting by reading the actions back

Before people leave, read back your understanding of what has been agreed. Check names and dates. Also record any point that remains undecided and who will find out more.

Afterwards, send a brief email:

Thank you for meeting today. My understanding is that we agreed the following actions: [short list]. We will review them on [date] using [information]. Please let me know if I have missed or misunderstood anything.

This is a record of your understanding, not a declaration that everybody agreed to words they did not use. Inviting corrections keeps the record accurate.

If the meeting ends without an action or the school does not respond, ask for the decision and next step in writing. The school’s published SEN information report should explain its approach and contact arrangements. For independent information about the options in England, contact your local SENDIASS. The School Navigator Pack gives you a preparation sheet, email wording and meeting notes you can reuse.

Sources

1. Department for Education and Department of Health and Social Care, SEND code of practice: 0 to 25 years

Sources and further reading

1. [1] Department for Education and Department of Health and Social Care. SEND code of practice: 0 to 25 years (accessed 4 August 2026).