How do I ask my child’s school for more support?

You do not need to know the name of a difficulty before you raise it with school. Begin with the part of the day or task your child cannot access, complete or recover from, then ask the school to compare that account with what staff see.

Choose the first person to contact

For a classroom or subject concern, the class teacher, form tutor or subject teacher may hold the most useful day-to-day information. Contact the SENCO when the difficulty affects several parts of school, current classroom support is not enough, or you want to understand the school’s SEN process. You can ask for both to be involved.

In England, mainstream schools must designate a SENCO, and schools must identify and address the SEN of the pupils they support ^[1]. The SENCO coordinates provision, but the class or subject teacher remains responsible for working with the pupil day to day.

Write a short first message

Give the school enough information to prepare without trying to explain the whole history by email.

I would like to talk about how [name] is managing [part of school or task]. Over the past [period], we have noticed [one or two specific examples]. This is affecting [attendance, learning, eating, sleep, recovery after school or another part of daily life]. [Name] has said [their words, with permission]. Could we compare what you are seeing and discuss what support may be needed?

If you are asking about an earlier agreement, name it and give the date. Attach only the document needed for this conversation and keep a copy of what you send.

Describe the barrier, not a complete explanation

“School is causing anxiety” covers many possibilities. “She reaches the dining hall but leaves without eating on most days because she cannot find a seat away from the queue” gives the group a situation to examine.

Include:

• what was happening;
• what your child did or communicated;
• what they could not access or complete;
• how often it happens;
• what helps or makes it harder;
• whether the information came from you, your child or school.

You may have a strong view about the reason. Label it as a possibility rather than presenting it as an established fact. This lets the school add observations without dismissing the difficulty itself.

Ask what support already exists

Some support may be happening informally and some may be recorded. Ask:

• What do staff notice in this situation?
• What teaching changes or support are already being used?
• Is my child identified as receiving SEN support?
• Where is the plan recorded and who sees it?
• What is the intended effect?
• What information shows whether it is helping?
• When will it be reviewed with my child and me?

The SEND Code says schools should take parents’ concerns seriously, record them and compare them with their own information ^[1]. Where a child is identified as needing SEN support, the plan should include the adjustments, interventions or support, the intended effect and a clear review date.

Do not wait for a diagnosis before discussing need

SEN is defined by a learning difficulty or disability that calls for provision additional to or different from what is normally available. It is not defined by possession of a diagnostic report ^[1]. A school can assess need, provide extra teaching or other support and review the response while a health or developmental assessment is pending.

A reasonable adjustment is related but not identical. Under the Equality Act, education providers have a duty to make reasonable adjustments for disabled pupils so they are not discriminated against ^[2]. Whether a particular change is reasonable depends on the pupil, the disadvantage and the circumstances. Ask which barrier the adjustment would reduce and how the school will put it into practice.

Make the next step specific

“Give more support” is difficult to carry out. A useful plan names the situation, action, person, intended change and date.

For example:

For the next four weeks, the teacher will put the first three steps of extended writing on A’s desk before the task begins. Staff will note whether A starts within five minutes and how much prompting is needed. We will review this on 6 October with A’s view included.

The support does not have to work perfectly to teach you something. A review can show that it helped, made no difference, was not delivered as planned or uncovered a different barrier.

If the response is unclear or nothing changes

Ask for the school’s decision and the next step in writing. You can also ask for:

• the school’s SEN information report;
• the name of the person responsible for the agreed action;
• a copy of the current support plan or record concerning your child;
• the date on which the concern will be reviewed;
• the school’s complaints procedure if an agreed internal route has been exhausted.

For free, impartial information about SEND options in England, contact your local SENDIASS. The School Navigator Pack provides reusable preparation and follow-up pages, while The Systems Navigator helps you organise information across school, health and other services.

Sources

1. Department for Education and Department of Health and Social Care, SEND code of practice: 0 to 25 years
2. GOV.UK, Disability rights: education

Sources and further reading

1. [1] Department for Education and Department of Health and Social Care. SEND code of practice: 0 to 25 years (accessed 4 August 2026).
2. [2] GOV.UK. Disability rights: education (accessed 4 August 2026).