How do I decide whether an event is worth the sensory cost, and plan recovery?

The short answer

Ask what the child or family would gain from the event, then map the whole cost: preparation, travel, waiting, noise, touch, communication, uncertainty, food, personal care, leaving and recovery. Do not use a fixed sensory-budget score. Compare with similar occasions and include the child's view, health, sleep and what surrounds the event. Before declining, see whether the valuable part can be accessed in a smaller form: a quieter time, one activity, shorter stay, separate transport, watching first or leaving before the busiest transition. If the event proceeds, remove avoidable demands before and after, agree an early exit and keep recovery free from performance expectations. Enjoyment and high effort can occur together. Judge the choice by what was accessible and what it cost, not by whether the child stayed until the end.

• Name the value of the event for the child and other family members.
• Include preparation, travel and recovery in the cost.
• Use comparable real events rather than a fixed sensory score.
• Change the size or shape of the event before deciding yes or no.
• Plan an early exit and protect recovery without treating it as a reward.
• Review participation, distress and recovery after enough time has passed.