How do I talk to my teenager about sex and consent?

The short answer

Treat sex and consent as a series of practical conversations, not one warning. First ask what your teenager already knows and how they prefer to receive private information. Explain consent through ordinary examples before sexual ones: each person chooses, agreement must be freely given, it is specific to the activity, and anyone can change their mind. Silence, freezing, fear, pressure or persistence are not agreement. Teach both how to recognise another person's uncertainty and how to leave, block, report or seek help when somebody ignores a boundary. Include attraction, bodies, masturbation, contraception, pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, pornography, sexual images, online contact and healthy relationship behaviour. Do not assume your teenager's gender, orientation, level of interest or future relationships. Use accurate language and repeat information in accessible formats. NHS sexual-health services offer confidential advice, contraception and testing, including for young people under 16, within professional safeguarding duties. If there is pressure, grooming, abuse or an adult pursuing a child, protect the young person and seek safeguarding help rather than treating the situation as a lesson they failed to learn.

• Build consent from everyday boundaries and then apply the same rules to sexual activity and online contact.
• Teach how to ask, notice uncertainty, stop, leave and get help, not only how to say no.
• Include accurate sexual-health information without assuming identity, experience or intention.
• Make the information accessible and repeat it across realistic examples.
• Respond to pressure or abuse with protection and support, never blame.