Why is my child behaving like this? A parent's guide to reading behaviour

The short answer

When your child behaves in a way that seems to make no sense, there is usually more going on than you can see. Several things may be contributing at once: difficulty understanding or explaining what they need, pain or illness, the environment, changes at home or school, or a skill they have not yet developed. Start with what was happening in the ten minutes before it began. Understanding why it happened does not mean that there should be no boundaries or consequences.

• When behaviour seems to come from nowhere, there is usually more going on than you can see.
• Several things often contribute at once, including communication, health, the environment and skills that are still developing.
• Check pain, illness, tiredness and hunger early, because they often show as a change in behaviour.
• The few minutes before an incident usually tell you more than the behaviour itself, and a short record can reveal the pattern.
• Understanding why something happened does not mean that there should be no boundaries or consequences.