How do I give instructions my child can follow?

The short answer

Before repeating an instruction, check whether the child knows exactly what action to take, can hold it in mind and can begin it in the present setting. Gain attention in the agreed way, put the action before the explanation and give one meaningful step: 'Put the plate by the sink.' Pause. If the task contains a sequence, show it with objects, pictures or a short list instead of holding every step in speech. State what is fixed and where the child has choice. Check understanding by asking them to show the first step, not by demanding a word-for-word repetition. If they understand but cannot start, change the task entry: bring the materials together, do the first movement alongside them or make the finish visible. A clearer instruction supports access; it does not explain every difficulty or guarantee compliance. Pain, overload, fear, conflicting demands and a task beyond the child's skills still need addressing.

• Describe an observable action instead of a broad outcome such as behave or get ready.
• Put the action first and keep explanation separate.
• Give one useful step, then make the remaining sequence visible.
• State the fixed requirement and offer only choices that are genuinely available.
• Distinguish not understanding from forgetting, not starting, distress and disagreement.